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How to Avoid a Breakup in any Marriage or Relationship

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At the beginning of a relationship, everything seems all nice and rosy.

However, you see yourselves slowly become that couple: the one that bickers and makes snide remarks behind each others’ backs.
In fact, you are probably at the edge, just about to break up or get a divorce or separate.
Thankfully, all hope is not loss as some relationship experts have shared some of the biggest mistakes people in unhappy relationships make and how to correct if you’ve made them.

Constant comparison:
An unhappy couple find themselves constantly comparing their behavior now to their behavior when they dated. Anne Crowley, an Austin, Texas-based psychologist says, “a spouse in an unhappy marriage might complain ‘you used to be so romantic! Unfortunately, the other partner’s response is often a defensive one — ‘Hey, that was before we had three kids!” The solution to constant comparison is to find out what happens when you tell your spouse you miss him or her. Anne says, “oftentimes it is intimacy that we are seeking with our spouse and anger only serves to push him or her away. Communication is the bridge to intimacy. When we feel connected with our spouse, we feel loved and valued.”

Being passively aggressive:
According to Marina Sbrochi, a relationship expert and the author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life, passive aggression can lead to divorce. “If your partner models contemptuous behavior, you’ll most likely pick up that vibe and escalate the issue,” she said. “You’ll both walk away silently cursing each other.” Her advice, get smarter with your argument style. “The next time you argue, take note of how one person’s attitude is contagious,” she said. “Instead of matching attitude, stop the bad-attitude train. Listen respectively and try to figure out what exactly your partner is trying to say to you.”

 

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