“Right now, I can say that my marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life, I don’t enjoy my life and I’ve never hated life so much like I do now, and I hate my wife for making my life miserable,” he says.
Ladipo Blaise asked this question so he can get help on how to handle his situation. He needs help on how to approach divorcing his heavily pregnant wife.
”Before we got married, my wife and I argue sometimes, but not frequently and most times we resolved our conflict peacefully. It was after our marriage that things changed, the fight got worse to the point that she will be yelling at me while I remain silent until she calmed, for I know it will get worse if I say a word.”
“When she told me the news of her being pregnant, we were so happy and excited, we had always wanted children, this is good for our marriage, and maybe it will change the situation of things in our marriage,” he continued to relate.
Little did I know that it will make things worse. All hell broke lose, and my wife has become intolerable.
“She shouts and throws a fit at little provocation. If I’m late in washing the dishes, if a single plate isn’t properly cleaned and arranged or if I sleep for more than 6 hours I’m in trouble.”
“I don’t mind that she has turned me into her personal maid, I mean pregnancy is hard but for her to be unappreciative of my efforts, shouting and nagging is hard on me,” he continued
“And when she’s like that, she can’t be reasoned with, you can’t talk to her. And when I used a soothing word like “Calm down “Alabeni” (her oriki) I expect her to at least listen to my pleading, but instead she will flair up and it makes her worse. There are times, she gets physical, I mean she raises her hands at me” he said.
This is a time I ought to be happy at the prospect of being a father, but instead she’s draining the life out of me by her incessant fights and arguments. I’m going through emotional, physical and mental abuse right now in my marriage. And all joy is drained out of me, anytime I see her, I always avoid her”
“The truth is, I regret marrying her, this isn’t the woman I feel in love with. And no, I don’t feel any love for this new woman that’s my wife, this mother of our unborn baby,” he confessed.
“There was a time she threw a fork at my face, it hit me just below the eye. I think it may be because she has suffered from depression before, but now she has stopped using her drugs when she was a teenager, she claimed they never worked for her anyway, but now I’m so scared to be around her”
I know most women are depressed when they are pregnant and so they behave strangely at times. But I can’t even tell her how her action is sapping me of energy, and I dare not discuss seeing a psychologist or a therapist with her. She will go gaga if I suggest she’s going crazy,”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t want any medical intervention, and I don’t even want any therapy at this stage, all I want to do is get out of this marriage. I can’t continue living like this,” he concluded in his post.
The man is frustrated and scared of his wife, he’s afraid his wife will hurt him and if that happens they will grant her asylum since she already had a depression case. He’s in a dilemma, he doesn’t want his wife to hurt him, herself or their unborn child.
“I know people will have more sympathy for the abuser than the abused because she’s a woman and she’s pregnant, but the bottom line is, my wife is making a hell out of my life, she is abusing me. And I can’t fold my hands and keep suffering, I want a divorce, but I don’t know how to go about it.”
The man has spoken to his lawyer and he’s about to divorce his pregnant wife.
What advise would you render to this man. Should he go ahead and divorce his wife? or is their a way to remedy the situation?