You’re 100% wasting your time. If you’re wondering why the person you’re with isn’t making a deeper commitment to you, these 5 things might be the real reason why they aren’t moving closer to settling down with you:
1. They’re currently at a life stage where a committed relationship is NOT a priority.
Is your boyfriend or girlfriend going through higher education, recently out of a serious relationship, or dealing with a lot of ex drama? Or they’re working really hard toward something in their life besides you that they’re totally focused on?
Then they’re probably not thinking about settling down right now. Getting them to say yes to your marriage proposal or give you a rock isn’t very likely. They might genuinely love you and be cool with having a relationship with you, even one where they see you all the time. But if they’re not in an emotional space where they can handle further responsibilities, it might be a considerable wait before they’re ready to settle down— if it happens with you at all.
2. They actually say they never want to get married.
Trying to change their mind by morphing into super boy/girlfriend just screws up your own confidence and happiness. If you want a commitment and they very clearly don’t see themselves taking that step, respect their position and take their word on it.
3. Their emotional baggage is overwhelming.
Emotional roller coasters do not create situations where people are dying to settle down. If they’ve recently been divorced, abused or are working through a stressful time, they are bound to be hard to tie down. Sometimes waiting and helping someone through the situation works, sometimes not— it’s very circumstantial.
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