Okay ladies and gentlemen, today we have a very big but simple question to answer. A very good friend of ours has just posted a life-threatening issue in her relationship with us and needs our urgent sincere help.
She said she just got dumped by her abusive boyfriend and she loves him and still wants him back. ‘What should I do?’ Should I Go Back To My Abusive Boyfriend she is asking??
Click to read this: Why Do Some People Love Abusive Boyfriends?
You see, the point here is that she is the one who wants her abusive boyfriend back! There is no indication that shows the man wants her back in his life either. There is also no indication that the boyfriend loves her from the post. She is the one who loves him so much and wants him back even though he abuses her!
Alright, first and foremost, we want to point out that in relationships, two hearts and two minds have to get involved together before it can work. This is when love can be like a fire that when lit continues to burn. But you see, this can’t be in your case because you both are like water and fire! It can’t work! You are firing the relationship forcing it to work, whereas he is all out pouring water to the fire and quenching it.
He is abusive, and you love him and also want him back? I don’t understand. I don’t understand the kind of thing you really want for yourself. Women want to love! They go for men who love and cherish them and here you are wanting a man who beats you up and rains abuse on you like seriously?
I think the problem with you is that you love a man to a fault. But you see, the relationship is not an agape love where you have to continue loving your brother no matter what! The only kind of love that exists and that is permitted to be in boyfriend and girlfriend relationships is Ero love. It has to be really sweet and romantic otherwise you are not in a relationship!
Another problem with you girl is that you love a man who does not respect or has any feelings for you. Girl why? Is it that you feel you are worth nothing? You don’t love yourself? Then you can’t even love another!
Yes, you love him and you have committed no crime in doing so. But understand that he does not love you and that is the problem here. That love my dear does not and can never make sense. A lady like you who loves selflessly deserves rich and better love and not abusiveness.
You think he is your life and you will die if you don’t end up with him right? No, he is not and you won’t die without him! We have all been there my dear friend. At first when I wasn’t feeling I was in a relationship with a man I was the one who begged to leave even when I loved him so much that I most times lost my appetite and had sleepless nights thinking about him.
We were in the heart of each other and when it was rough for me, he felt it and would call me to know if I was okay. Yet I left him and he sobbed. Later we were back together again and it didn’t take time and he was the one who left this time. I sobbed and felt so bad that I thought I would never find another man who would love me as he did. But you know what? After some time I talked to myself and said ” I am a beautiful girl, strong and talented. He doesn’t love me as I thought and that was why he left! I’m going to love myself and pursue that great woman I ever wanted to be. A life toucher, a motivational speaker, and an inspiration to the world!
Before I knew it, he was gradually leaving my life and I was enjoying my newfound life. I stopped paying attention to my memories of him and finally, it dropped to almost nothing with him. That was when I believed that one is special only when you make one a special person in your life!
He abuses you in many ways and that is killing! What are you missing in this man that you want back so badly? If this abusive boyfriend of yours is the one begging to be back and you still love him, I would have advised you to give him a chance to make up with you and give him the opportunity to become a changed person. Do you know why?
Because people change! Circumstances can make a good man turn wild one night until he comes back to his right senses in case you are asking:
Can an abusive boyfriend change?
Yes, they can and they do! Good husbands today can turn against their beautiful and most cherished wives tomorrow! But your case here is different. You are the only one in that relationship who loves whereas it takes two to tango!
To keep the fire burning in a relationship, two parties have to keep firing on both sides and in that case, the love becomes endless. But what if your abusive boyfriend loves you more than you do? This takes us to another level:
How to stop abusive boyfriend
You would agree with me now that it is possible to let go of an abusive boyfriend or relationship even though he loves you because you don’t really crave him as much as he does. This is absolutely selfishness that kills relationships or makes them either useless or meaningless. Doing things only because it suits you!
When you were the only one deeply in love with the abusive boyfriend it seems to you the whole world would collapse should you let him go even when he does not care about your feelings. Stop thinking about him whenever he comes to your mind. Wave him off and quickly replace the thought with another interesting thing. If you have any of his pictures around him, discard them! Unfollow him on all social media and move on.
Can abusive relationships be fixed?
Yes, abusive relationships can be fixed! But this is only possible when two parties involved truly love each other and are willing to forgive each other free from the heart. In the good book of wisdom from God the Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. No matter what your suitor has done to you, you can always readily forgive him or her especially when they also are sorry and are willing to make up with you.
There is no perfect man or woman in this imperfect world! Even in marriage, your best man or woman will still misbehave badly as never expected and yet, he is still your partner. Every boy and girlfriend have their unique problems and it is only love that can help you tolerate, condone and accept your partner. Yes finally my dear lady, if your abusive boyfriend refuses to change for good, if he is unwilling to make up for his error don’t go back to him!
Not only because he is abusive but because he doesn’t love you ! You don’t know how fortunate you have been that he is out of your life. Yes, you are so so fortunate my dear. Abusiveness is no enjoyment and smiling and suffering is no life! Be patient. Have a good waiting attitude towards life. Shun what is bad and Love only a grateful heart!!!